Day 55:

284.5

Yup, not much weight loss the last few weeks, which is why I haven't been so strenuous about posting, but I somehow still lost. I got my tax return Friday, and I determined that I needed some new clothes, as the old ones are getting both worn out and kind of boring. That's saying a lot, coming from me, because usually clothes don't get so boring that I'd risk shopping to replace them.

But I did need even a few new clothes, so I went. Nothing big. Just a trip to Wal-mart.

I had to take most of them back today. They were too big. Now, with my casual clothes -- t-shirts, jeans, my long-sleeved denim shirt -- I don't care. I intentionally buy them baggy because I don't like anything that clings. Got too much to cling to, you know. But these were slightly dressier work clothes -- skirts, slacks, nice tops -- and they really do need to fit. So I had to take them back and get 20s.

I was used to buying 24s so they'd fit looser, though I was basically a size 22. Not anymore. The 20s fit great, though they usually hit me in the exact wrong place. I don't know why, but plus sizes have never hit my waist or bust right. I can't explain it. I just live with it or buy men's clothes whenever they'll fit. I usually say that I have a short waist and a long rise, but I don't think my rise is any longer than medium. I do have a terribly short waist, and slightly longer than average legs, so I just look weird in the cardboard cut-out plus sizes.

Admittedly, this body type might not look weird if I were half of myself, like I'm planning, but for now it makes shopping even more terribly irritating than usual. But I did find three good shirts -- and all my friends will be astonished that I bought shirts I can't layer, as that's kind of my thing -- and a skirt, though I took the slacks back and didn't replace them because, as I said, it's nearly impossible to find comfortable slacks.

I also had to get more "dressy" shoes. I wanted some simple lace-up boots with a low heel, maybe some granny boots, but no such luck. First off, they don't fit my calf right. Whoever designs shoes does not consider fat people's needs. I guess they don't think we have any taste, or we wouldn't let ourselves get too fat to wear their creations.

At any rate, boots are out for now. However, I did find some Harley Davidson mules that are both comfortable and sensibly low-heeled without being girlie in the least. Under a pair of pants, they'll look almost like boots, but with a skirt, they'll obviously be what they are. Not too shabby.

Maybe I have a little taste, after all. HA!

And no, before anyone gets excited, I didn't have fun shopping. I don't hate shopping because I'm overweight. I've always hated it, even when I was the tallest and one of the thinnest girls in my class. You know, waaaaay back in the sixth grade. My mom used to shoe-shop like crazy, trying on every pair that caught her eye regardless of size. The woman was always a 6 1/2, but she'd try on every pair between 3 and 10, "because they might be mis-sized". Hand to God.

I was far too ADHD to sit through such torture, so I usually brought a book or even begged to stay in the car, where I could daydream and kick the back of the seat until she was done. Pitiful, ain't it? My brother was smart; he'd ask for a toy and then play happily for the entire rest of the time. I just wanted left out.

But anyway, I didn't particularly enjoy getting smaller clothes because I still can't quite find my "style" beyond jeans and t-shirts. Maybe one of these days when more styles are open to me? Probably not. Sorry, but I'm just not a shopper.

But I am losing weight! Slowly but surely. And I know the exercise is doing good things for me, even if it's not completely visible to anyone but me. Doesn't matter; I'm not doing this for anyone else, anyway.