Day 11:

289.5

Keeping in mind the "weigh-in once a week" thing is probably a good idea. Thanks to PJD for agreeing!

So, over the first real week (well, 11 days, but I wanna weigh in on Fridays so it's easy to remember) of taking better care of myself, I've lost 5.5 pounds. That ain't too shabby. Plus, with the tae bo aerobics, I may not really feel more graceful or in control yet, but I do notice a difference in how my clothes hang on me. Not looser, per se, but...different. They just hang different. Can't explain it.

Unfortunately, my mom found out about the exercise. I didn't want her to know. Bless her heart, but she always gets so excited when I make any attempt at healthier living, and the solid core of spite that lurks under my better nature makes me want to quit just so she'll shut up about it.

Not that I don't love her and not that I don't want to make her happy by relieving her fears for my health and happiness. I love my mother. But she's 5' tall and maybe weighs 100 lbs, and she's never been much bigger than that. Luckily, I got height from my dad's side of the family, but the thin side passed me right by.

So she just doesn't understand. She thinks I need encouragement (read: constant encouragement) and rooting for. She thinks I need to be told how good I look and how proud she is of me.

I'm not doing this to be thin.

I'll probably never be thin, and I'd probably look all raw-boned and scary if I tried. My body type is meant to be...voluptuous, to use a nice word. I'm pear-shaped with a good bust. I can't be skinny. Even when I was young and the tallest kid in my class, I was never skinny or knock-kneed. I had too much muscle from lifting weights with my brother to ever be skinny.

I don't want to be thin. I just want to be fit. I'm happy with who I am, and most of the time, Mom is, too.

But she does try.

So anyway, my brother is getting married in a month or so, and since Mom found out that I'm toning up (she noticed; I didn't tell her), she's offered to buy me a new dressy outfit (she's hoping for a dress, but I'm ever a tomboy and am hoping to find a nice pants suit) both for the wedding and for my birthday, which is right around the same time. Well, now, it's for a "reward", too.

So, I'll try to see how many sizes I can lose between now and Feb. 3. Even if it's only one, I'll be happy, but now that spiteful part of me wants to say, "One dress size, huh? I'll show you one dress size!" and lose three. I must say that this is the first time that part of me has wanted anything positive!

Hopefully, it'll work. I think I'll take up walking in addition to the tae bo aerobics, though. The only trick is finding a safe but not terribly public place to do it. I'm tempted to walk around the paved paths at the cemetery up the road. I may try it this weekend to see if the owners mind. I mean, it's not like I'll be parading around in spandex or anything. Yuck!

But if I'm really gonna try to drop sizes quick, just sweating won't be good enough. I need to get the ol' heart rate up, too. So, we'll see.

Right now, I'm a size 22-24, depending on what the clothing item is made of. I don't like materials that cling, so I tend to buy them a size larger than I need so I don't have to feel them all day. Let's see if I can manage a 20 in 26 days, ya think?